so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
