other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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