We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
