I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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