The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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