I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
