he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
