I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
