I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
