we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
