Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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