Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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