Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pants are for mortals
where are my eyebrows?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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