Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
