Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
