And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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