I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
