You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I need to calm my uterus...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
