The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
