I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
