Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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