She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
