The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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