Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
