I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
