Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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