Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
