Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
