I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
