So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
