i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
