lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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