I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
