just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
