I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
