you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Two words: nipple clamps
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