So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
