the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
