I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
