Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
