if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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