No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
