i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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