Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
