1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
