Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
