We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
