Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
