i can't believe i had my finger in that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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