Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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